Be A Good Friend

Sitting at my desk recently, I overheard an office assistant in another room having what sounded like a heated telephone conversation on speakerphone.  As I paid more attention, it became clear that the conversation was very one-sided.  It sounded something like this:

Automated voice (AV): "What would you like to do today?"

Office assistant (OA): "Make a payment."

AV: "I'm sorry.  I didn't understand that.  What would like to do today?"

OA: "MAKE A PAYMENT!"

AV: "Okay. You'd like to apply for a new account.  I can help with that.  What type of account would you like to apply for?"

OA: "NOOOO!!!  I WANT TO MAKE A PAYMENT!!!"

AV: "I'm sorry.  I didn't understand that.  What type of account would you like to apply for?"

OA: "I DON'T WANT TO APPLY FOR AN ACCOUNT!!!  I WANT TO PAY YOU!!!"

AV: "I'm sorry.  I didn't understand that.  Please hold while I connect you to a live representative for an additional charge."

As a therapist, sometimes I feel like the "representative" who is available for an extra charge.  So many of my clients come to me simply because they want someone to listen to them and care about what they have to say.  They are actually paying me to care.

That is a sad indication of the state of our interpersonal relationships.  As the listener, we are quick to judge, or ignore, or offer unhelpful advice.  As the speaker, we are often embarrassed or ashamed of our "problem."

The truth is, if there were more people out there being good friends and/or spouses, I might be out of a job.  So here's a challenge: Put me and my colleagues out of business. Be the kind of person who listens, empathizes, comforts, and refrains from judging. Be trustworthy and find satisfaction in knowing (not sharing) something that no one else may know, aside from the person who shared it with you.  Smile often, shake hands, hug.  Put simply: Be a good friend.